My people have been ill, so I've barricaded myself under my rock. I have no intention of catching a human disease. Unfortunately I couldn't take the internet machine without it being noticed, but with one person away and the other asleep, I think I'm safe to make a quick post.
I've passed the time by considering the underprivileged lizards of the world who don't have carpet to walk on. Imagine having to drag one's stomach over rough terrain. What if a sharp stone were concealed under a thin layer of dirt? Dirt's bad enough without the deception! And then, when it rains, that dirt sticks to your scales as mud! The horror! Don't get me wrong, I like going out to eat pebbles from time to time too, but having to live out there? With the bugs?
Give me good soft carpet any day. It's nice on the underbelly, and provides plenty of traction for claws, so getting around is easy. It's usually dry and clean too.
Perhaps I should petition for carpet equality for lizards. Maybe it's time I took responsibility for the less fortunate, and tried to make their lives better. And why stop at carpet? Heat rocks, comfy logs, and pancakes for all lizards. I could even donate some of my coconut husk to provide a nice bed for someone.
What do you think? Would you sign my carpet equality petition? Who would I send it to?
Advocatingly,
Mikey
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